Monday, August 28, 2006
Today you are twelve-years-old. I am amazed that it has been that long. Everyone I have ever known who has been a parent has told me that the time flies by, but only now am I really starting to understand what they mean. I am so proud of the young man you are becoming--frustrated and concerned some days--but for the most part pleased with who you are. I guess I am especially surprised with the way you are just naturally easing into being a responsible, contributing part of the family. Growing up has brought with it many new responsibilities. Because you tend to be so laid back (OK, maybe just a tad lazy!), I was sure it would be a fight to get you to take out the trash, or mow, or keep up with your own online classes, but you seem to thrive on the honor these harder tasks bring. I hear very few complaints, and you do chores without much nagging.
Your latest "passion" is superheroes. Now while I realize that every boy needs heroes, and the "super" kind fit nicely into that need, I feel I have done you a disservice by introducing some heroes who really aren't, and although I know you intellectually understand their shortcomings, I still see some hero worship that makes me uncomfortable. I'm claiming a lot of God's grace to cover over my mistakes. In spite of this, I love the fleeting glimpses of "little boy" I still get in your superhero play. I dread the day when you are through with childish things altogether.
Spiritually, you always impress and amaze me. You have so much knowledge and understanding packed in that 12-year-old head of yours. I'm constantly astonished at what you are able to understand, and what you seem to believe. Of course, my big worry is that all that understanding will fuel a huge pride, which the Lord will have to break in the coming years. I often get frustrated that I don't seem to see your faith translated into action, but then again, I have struggled with that myself. It comforts me a great deal to know that God covers you with His grace. I know it is all by God's grace that you have been given so much of His truth. HE has made it possible for me to be so involved in teaching and training you. HE has made you able to learn. And HE has put His Holy Spirit in you to help you to understand. Even though I know all this, it makes me proud to be your mom.
Josh, there are so many things I like about you. I LOVE your sense of humor. You have your daddy's wit, and that makes life with you so much fun. Even though your almost always a little rough on your brothers, you have a very tender heart. I love to watch you with little ones--you are so gentle and can just talk to them. You can converse with older kids and adults too. You have always amazed me with your extroverted personality which enables you to make friends with just about anyone. Even though I think you hate to hear it, you have a real talent for writing and telling stories. (Writing involves too much work for you.) What an imagination! And with your humor, you rarely compose anything dull! You are a loyal friend. It seems the boys with whom you are friends have been your friends forever, and you stay faithful to them in spite of their quirks and annoying habits.
My precious boy, I look forward to seeing the wonderful things God is going to do with you. Everyone I talk to is so sure He has great plans for you. I am sorry for the many ways I fail to prepare you for His call on your life, but I am so grateful that it does not all depend on me. Even though entering into the "teen years" has thrown me a bit off balance with the ways you are changing, I have found something to love at every age, and I know I will with you at this age too. I am sure of it because of how much I love you. You are a special boy, and I thank God for every day I've had with you. Celebrate my dear son! Today marks an incredible day--the day God brought you into my world!
at 5:08 PM