Where the Boys Are

Ahh, in working with Jr. High girls, I remember this song of my youth . . . how embarrassing! How I wasted so much time then!

Now of course it means something totally different. I realized as I was looking over my blogging that I haven't mentioned the boys of late. Since supposedly this whole blog is mostly about living with boys, here is an update:

Josh: has been faithfully and dilligently working through his first year of school away from home--at private Christian school. The homework load has been much less than I expected. I have discovered in him a very anti-establishment attitude. He questions every rule, every reprimand, every math fact, every instruction . . . the boys wants to know WHY!!! The hormones are a-raging, and he is mad all the time no matter what I do. I of course don't dare acknowledge that I belong to him in public . . . on penalty of death, I think. However he is making great grades, is working exceptionally hard (both at our after-school job where he helps me clean, and at home when I ask him to do some chore), is communicating with words his constant frustrations and irritations, and assures me that he still loves me (although sometimes I have to remind him I'm a girl and that I need to hear him say it). He's a great kid, and someone I truly respect and admire, although I'm a little concerned about a "crisis of faith" that he's battling right now as he searches for his own identity.

Stephen: Still very much the happy-go-lucky boy, just in a rapidly growing and always eating body. Stephen never finishes his schoolwork, but always seems to know more than me. He is still very sensitive, but as the pre-teen hormones are starting to stir, I see it emerge more as anger now than as tears (although sometimes the two appear together). Stephen's highly creative streak bounces from one interest to another: at the beginning of the schoolyear he was hard into stop-motion animation and computers, and now is drawing and sketching everything. Stephen's biggest challenge this year has been working via Florida Virtual School, which violates his free, impulsive, unconstrained approach to work. Nevertheless, he also is proving he is capable of doing "classroom" work, and is showing signs of improvement both in his computer skills and his art (the two classes he is taking are 2D Art and Keyboarding). Stephen's heart is still very tender to the Lord, and to those in need around him.

Andrew: AJ has been full of surprises this year. He was having great difficulty reading at the beginning of the schoolyear, but has made leaps and bounds in the last couple of months. Suddenly words are popping out all over the place, and when they do AJ tries to read them! School efforts are moving along now at a nice clip, so much so that he and I have started reading and studying anything we can get our hands on about the Colonial and Revolutionary period of American history. It has been fun seeing what he is learning once again beginning to take over his imagination. Andrew's latest endeavors have been book-writing. He starts many, though rarely makes it to the finish. However he writes and draws all day, intermitten with fighting imaginary enemies (and a couple real brothers) outside whenever possible. I love Andrew's energy, as well as his delight in snuggling and being with me. Maybe I baby him a little, but I figure that's OK. He does NOT get away with everything!

Having essentially three different ages and stages has kept me awfully busy. I'm trying to balance youth group, scouting on two levels, friend get-togethers (not playdates anymore!), this school event and that one, etc. I spend much of my life in the car. Fortunately I have kept their outside committments few, and they usually share events (like the older two both do youth group, the younger two are both in homeschool support group together and have scouting back-to-back at the same location). And after much prayer and discussion with Josh, it looks like we will probably all be home again next year for school. (Not so sure if that's a light at the end of the tunnel, or just the headlight of a train!)

Just so I'm clear, if you've placed a call and asked me for something, or if you want to catch up over coffee . . . we can schedule something . . . in about ten years!!!!

252 Used to Seem Like a Huge Number

Did I mention we've entered the high-tech world of text messaging? No? For Christmas Josh got a phone (from his grandparents, not me). It's one of those pay-as-you-go deals--a real scam if you ask me. So far it is still cheaper than putting him on my service, so I decided it would be a good "experiment" to see how he liked having phone service. A couple weeks ago, a friend of his showed him how to use messaging, and for some reason I still don't understand the company had given us a little credit, so he was able to have the cost of the messages deducted and thus able to try it.

Well, after checking it out, I decided it would be fun to add texting to the service for this month just to see if he and I liked it and if it was worth having. I selected an inexpensive plan for 200 messages, and with the purchase of his monthly minutes, that left about $5 credit on our balance. Well, he's been enjoying doing some texting, and I thought it was funny . . . until last night . . . when I discovered he's used all his pre-paid messages AND all the credit on the account (which was supposed to cover NEXT month's messaging).

252!

He's used 252 messages. Boy, word got out fast! And his little fingers must be flying. And I'm left without the ability to message him now ('cause sorry, I refuse to pay for more messages!). That used to seem like such a huge number, but now . . . . So now we're looking at a plan with unlimited messaging . . .

I need to remember to thank his grandparents for introducing me to this world. Wonder if they knew this was a gift that kept on giving?

End of Quarter Grades

I almost forgot to mention that last week, Josh got his first-ever "report card." (Except the kind Mom gave him when he was little!) He made all A's except for one B in Pre-Algebra (a subject he insists no one should have to learn!). Now, I know that it sounds like I'm bragging about grades, but I'm not. You see, I'm NOT an educational legalist. The current school grading system is only valuable to me in so much as a teacher with 15, 20 or 35 students needs to be able to communicate how a student is doing in her class. I stressed to Josh that most of all I wanted him to learn and to do his best. That is what excites me.

To receive his report card we had to have a conference with the teacher. She just gushed about Josh. I had so many questions going in . . . questions about character, about his relationships to others. And in her comments many of those questions were answered. Josh loves to ask questions and learn more . . . even beyond what is expected. He often knows the answers, but doesn't try to answer every question. He works well with other kids and is an encourager. He doesn't often lose his temper and when he does it is more out of frustration because of his own inabilities and weaknesses. He is a strong leader (well, duh!). He is very logical and communicates well (he was awesome in a class debate they had!).

None of this really surprised me, it's just that doing this parenting thing mostly alone, it was good to hear from someone more or less unbiased. It was especially good to hear in front of the other parents. (Pray for me! Thier "part" in the whole school thing has been hard to bear.)

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed now at where to go in the coming few years. The "others" are pressuring to have him in public school in a accelerated program, but me . . . I tend to like a more gentle approach with less pressure. Not that I'll let that kid get away with doing little or nothing, I just like the idea of him having a more relaxed schedule at home. If I can ONLY find a way to keep him busy socially (without killing myself!). Anyway, lots of decisions to be made. Lots of things to consider.

For now, I'm crazy about this boy! And oh, so proud of him. Even when he picks on his brother or does a lazy kitchen-clean-up job.

Election Amusement

This year it has been amusing to watch election developments. Of course, the amusement ended tonight. It hasn't been the bantering between candidates that has interested me, but the fact that there is someone else in my house interested in election developments. My 14-year-old surprised me this year with a political opinion. I'm not sure where he got it--I tend toward disinterest in most things political. (I take elections very seriously, and do research and vote on an informed opinion, I just don't care much for all the political stuff that goes on.) It has been fun watching Josh go from someone influenced by what others around him thought to someone whose opinions were directed more by what he learned about the candidates and his own beliefs and ideas.

Unfortunately now I have to help pick up the pieces of a very discouraged and disillusioned boy. He can't understand how a candidate who seemed so clearly unqualified and unworthy of being president could be elected. I'm not worried about it--I know this kid will understand more as he learns more that voting your beliefs is not always as clear and easy as it seems when you are 14. I'm trying to encourage him that God is sovereign and knew who would be elected before the U.S. was even a country! Not only that , but our great God will use even a president like Obama to further His cause and purpose. But I'm a grown woman and I still struggle most days to really believe that. How do I help a kid new to politics and to losing politically to understand it?

On the scary side, a thought hit me today as I talked of election things with my younger boys. My 14-year-old will be voting in the next presidential election. Man, I'm getting old!

I'm SO Not Ready for Teenage Girls!

Today was a first . . . another first . . . and where I was eager for them when the boys were small, I'm not so thrilled with them now. Josh was asked over to a girl friend's house to "hang out." Now we've had playdates with girls before, but this was NOT a playdate. After quickly saying yes, I realized that I needed a little more info. Were her parents home? Or someone to supervise? What did they plan on doing? And so on. I had to have "a talk" with Josh about what was appropriate and what was not, because all the rules have changed now. And although he said he knew all of it, I still feel a bit uncomfortable with this whole realm of hormones and attractions, as well as with how planned out teen girls are compared to the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants nature of boys. Mind you, this was not a "date" nor do I think that he and this girl are interested in each other except as friends, but still . . . the potential is now always there. And I've found myself going through moments of panic this afternoon wondering what I don't know yet. Ugh.

They called a few minutes ago, well . . . actually she called (of course) and want me to meet them at Starbuck's to hang out for a while. Guess they still have stuff to discuss. Hmmm . . . this IS kind of funny. And as I consider this . . . there is so much room for fun at my son's expense! I'm going for an hour. Cinnamon Buns!!! Leaving my little boys was so much easier--all I had to do was find a sitter! Now the sitters are the ones with my son, so I have to do the chaperoning!!! Isn't there something I can give Josh to prevent this disease just a little longer?

I really need to find a husband to help me with this.

And Then There's Josh . . .

OK, I've just gotta brag on my teenager today.

We are at the beginning of a crazy week. We are taking care of four young children all day for some friends. Today and tomorrow we also had our regular little girl (but only one of the four--the cranky teething baby!). I thought this week was Spring Break, so no cleaning, but I was wrong, so we still have our cleaning and most of our "usual" activities this week. Today was Scout day with back-to-back scout meetings. I honestly didn't know how I would even start cleaning before 8 pm.

But JOSH decided to stay at the church for his play rehearsal (even though he didn't have to be there today), and then to go ahead and start cleaning for us afterward until I could get up there to help. By the time we did get there, he had finished more than half the work. I had maybe an hour's worth to do, and the other boys had nothing. Who is this masked hero? Is this the guy whose secret identity is a couch potato? Hmmmm . . . must be something in the water. I gotta get me some of that water.

What Happened to My Little Boy?

What do you do when you realize your little boy is growing up to be a man? I'm not sure. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.

June 2005

September 2005

November 2005

January 2006

June 2006

August 2006

December 2006

March 2007

September 2007

November 2007

This weekend, Josh went to the Junior High Mid-Winter Retreat with our church. It was a strange feeling dropping him off. I had done nothing. He packed all of his own things. He made sure I filled out the forms in time. He made sure all of the payments and spending money were taken care of. He did it all. When did it happen? When did my boy grow up?

Tonight, I Went On a Date!

. . . with my son! (Gotcha!!!) After Christmas I promised the boys I would take each of them out alone. I would love to do it on a regular basis, but it never seems to happen like I plan it, so I just thought it would be fun to do all of them at that time. AJ and Stephen got their date with Mom, but it just kept not working out for Josh and I. (Mostly him. The kid has quite a busy social life for a 12-year-old homeschooler with few extracurricular activities!)

We went out for ice cream and to see the movie "Eragon." I caught up on some things I'm trying to hold him accountable in, and asked him lots of questions about things going on. Yeah, I got the "blah, blah, blah" comments and looks, but I needed the time to listen to him even if he wasn't crazy about talking. After quickly catching up (quick for me, long and drawn out for him), we just talked. It cracks me up to talk to my 5 1/2 foot son with his deep booming voice. Not only does his physical appearance and voice remind me every moment that he's growing up, but just the direction of the conversation is different. We can talk so much more maturely, and I'm feeling more confident about sharing little things with him that I wouldn't have before--like funny things that have happened, and memories from my life and such. It was weirdly like being out with a friend instead of my son.

OK. I'm panicking a little! Quit growing up! Did you hear me? I said QUIT IT!

Nope. He's still growing. And no matter what I do he won't quit.

Ya know the other thing that concerns me? Is he going to grow into those feet? Like puppies do? 'Cause I'm thinking I can't afford that sized shoe. (Or the rest of the clothes to go with it.)

Quit growing. Now!

The Key to My Heart Is Not Enough Anymore . . .

. . . so tonight I got Josh his own house key. Doesn't seem like it should be such a big deal--except to Mom. It was actually a very pragmatic decision, since I am occasionally out of town without him (Oops, no. He stays with friends--but he could come home to feed and check on the dog. Save me kennel fees.), and with youth group and Boy Scout camping it is possible for him to end up at the house when I'm not yet there. It shouldn't have been a big deal. But it was. He BEAMED!! I took him to Home Depot, and let him pick out the snazzy key he wanted. He chose the one with flames running down it. The moment we were out of checkout, he couldn't wait to put it on the chain around his neck.

Of course, I freaked when I got home and the kids were already inside before I came and unlocked the door. Surely a burglar broke in the house. Nope! Just my twelve-year-old . . . and his new key.