Life Lessons

One of the things I love about living life is the occasional peek it gives me into the divine. I have often pondered the relationship between faith and works. It almost boggles my mind sometimes to try to tease apart the motivation for works--that they shouldn't come from obligation or an attempt to earn God's love or favor, but out of love for Him and a desire to do what He delights in. Still . . . everything I know, the way the world I live in is so driven by what I do and what I earn . . . it is so hard to live without a works motivation.

This week I had just a peek into what pleases God. My best friend has been sick all week, but it steadily progressed until Thursday the decision was made that she just had to go to the doctor. She has six children, so doctors visits and the like have to be carefully planned and orchestrated, but there she was needing to go and needing to do it that very day. She knows I'm here for her, so she called and asked if I could take the kids for the afternoon. As we talked on the phone, it became afternoon and evening, because she hadn't slept much all week and I knew she needed time to rest. Then by the time she dropped them off, I had pretty much decided they should just stay the night, since both she and her husband really did need a good night's sleep. It was a decision I never even considered a burden. Her kids are so much fun, and I love them. I love her. And she and her husband have done so much for me that I wanted to do something for them.

It wasn't about paying them back. I didn't feel I owed it to them, nor did I feel I needed to earn a few favors for the next time I need help. It wasn't about obligation at all. My heart just wanted to do it. I trust them and love them, and I wanted them to have a tangible reminder of my love. Suddenly I realized that this is exactly the motivation God wants for my works. At great cost to Himself, He gave me salvation and reconciled me to Himself asking nothing on my part. My works should be done out of love for Him, with a desire that He see that love. No paybacks. No guilt or obligation. Just love. A relationship where we both desire to delight each other for no other reason than to delight each other.

Cool.

I'm SO Not Ready for Teenage Girls!

Today was a first . . . another first . . . and where I was eager for them when the boys were small, I'm not so thrilled with them now. Josh was asked over to a girl friend's house to "hang out." Now we've had playdates with girls before, but this was NOT a playdate. After quickly saying yes, I realized that I needed a little more info. Were her parents home? Or someone to supervise? What did they plan on doing? And so on. I had to have "a talk" with Josh about what was appropriate and what was not, because all the rules have changed now. And although he said he knew all of it, I still feel a bit uncomfortable with this whole realm of hormones and attractions, as well as with how planned out teen girls are compared to the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants nature of boys. Mind you, this was not a "date" nor do I think that he and this girl are interested in each other except as friends, but still . . . the potential is now always there. And I've found myself going through moments of panic this afternoon wondering what I don't know yet. Ugh.

They called a few minutes ago, well . . . actually she called (of course) and want me to meet them at Starbuck's to hang out for a while. Guess they still have stuff to discuss. Hmmm . . . this IS kind of funny. And as I consider this . . . there is so much room for fun at my son's expense! I'm going for an hour. Cinnamon Buns!!! Leaving my little boys was so much easier--all I had to do was find a sitter! Now the sitters are the ones with my son, so I have to do the chaperoning!!! Isn't there something I can give Josh to prevent this disease just a little longer?

I really need to find a husband to help me with this.

I Have a Friend! And He's funny!

I have my first virtual friend on Flickr. Kinda cool. I'm assuming of course that he likes my photos . . . I've pretty much confirmed he's not some weirdo stalker. OK, please don't ask me to explain how, I just know these things.

Anyway, he evidently has a funny sense of humor. Check out his collection of funny signs . Stephen and I laughed so hard we woke Josh up.

Some Random Things

• There are SEVEN boys downstairs right now. They are playing video games, eating (of course!), and making LOTS of noise. All but one are sleeping over. I expect it will be a late night.
• I got a new grill in April. I finally made perfect hamburgers and hot dogs on it tonight (not burned). It's not me. The grill runs very hot. Really. Anyway, I'm feeling very proud of myself.
• There are no hamburgers left . . . and I made more than there were people. But I still have hot dogs!
• I have twelve books of my own that I'm trying to read, but for some reason, I have spent the last three days reading one of Josh's (one I'm pre-reading, so he can read it). I wish he'd get off my back.
• I'm trying to figure out why I clean house before the boys have friends over. This time, I didn't do much, and I'm feeling OK about it.
• On Sunday my older boys go to camp. I'm trying to figure out what to do with the youngest. If he stays with me, I'm trying to figure out who he can talk to.
• My back hurts. I went to the chiropractor today and he said my sacroilliac is out of place. He put it back in place, but it doesn't seem to want to stay where it belongs. I'm wondering if I can just buy a new one.
• My oldest son acts weird when he's around friends. Is that normal?
• I really like my sons' friends. They are a lot of fun. Is it normal for teen boys to like their friends' parents?
• We only have exactly thirteen days until we start school. I'm sooooo not ready.

Better Bear Photos

I love the second (and later nights) of a performance. The cast and crew are really starting to bond, and have lost just a little of their nervousness so that they are beginning to really have fun with the play. The kids were so much fun tonight, and my young assistant Richard and I captured it all on film (OK, digital) and video. Maybe we'll make a U-Tube video to post someday.

Josh really enjoyed himself tonight. The real treat was that his dad and grandparents came, and I was so glad and hoped it made him feel really special. His mic was working better tonight so all his "bear sounds" were projected better, which made him funnier.

By the way, did I mention that Josh was wearing red and white high-top tennis shoes before the play. So I asked him if he had other shoes, but he didn't. I asked if he was wearing socks, and he said the ones he had on were white. So I told him . . . ready? . . .

. . . . guess you'll have to wear your bear feet! Get it? Bear? Bare? Bwaaaa haaa haaa!

Yeah, I just got eye-rolling and a "Mommmm!" from Josh too.

Movie Review: Spiderman 3

This is the movie of the month. (Although it does disturb me a little at the amount of money it brought in at the box office last week. Then again, some of that money was mine.) The boys have been counting the months and days until this movie was out since . . . well . . . I think since we got Spiderman 2 on DVD. So last week on a whim, I told them I'd take them to see it at the midnight show on Thursday night. They were SOOO excited. They counted hours and minutes all week. Of course I felt like a real goofball when we were at the theater at 7 o'clock for a MIDNIGHT movie!!! (We were the ONLY ones at the theater at 7 o'clock, but I wouldn't have stayed home with that much energy for anything!) We ended up going with a whole herd of boys and another mom (as crazy as me!). And of course since I knew the movie wasn't going to be over until 2 am (try actually 2:40--but we were home by 3:30!), I offered to let all those crazy boys sleep over (the beauty of homeschooling!). But actually it was really fun. I have however determined that I am NOT young anymore, and cannot go all night without sleep. What part of me goes next?

Boys at the theater, and the reason I LOVE having a camera phone!

So what'd I like about this movie:

• Amazing special effects and CG animation. You felt as if you were right there swinging along with Spiderman. Even I thought it was cool.
• The message that hatred and revenge are dangerous, and forgiveness is the best choice for our well-being.
• This Spiderman didn't have any wet-dress, upside down sensual kiss scenes in it. (Thanks for wrecking the first, and my favorite of the three films with that!) It did allude to the scene in the first movie, but I was not as uncomfortable with my pre-teen boy seeing it.
• The relationship between Peter and MaryJane Watson moved into greater maturity as Peter began to understand what it means to love someone unselfishly (he didn't throughout the movie, but was learning about it).
• Aunt Mae's very wise cousel on marriage and vengeance.
• Compassion and understanding when someone did very wrong things without justifying or excusing those wrong choices.
• Mostly action violence, although there was a LOT of it, and the Venom villian at the end was very creepy and scary.
  

What bothered me about this movie:

• The message repeated several times that a man's choices make him the person he becomes and that we can always choose what is right. While I agree that choices affect the person we become, I think God's Word is clear that our choices actually reflect the person we already are at our core. We cannot choose to do anything apart from who we are (sinners), unless God has transformed us (into new creations).
• Having said this, I did appreciate that there was a strong caution to consider your choices wisely, and the indication that there are things that are clearly right and wrong.
• Some rather out-of-character scenes for Peter Parker where he flirts and does a very suggestive dance with a female character.
• Certain references to religion in an irreverent way.
• The characters were more shallow than in the previous movies, in part because there were so many characters.
• Lots of destructive battles, even though it was all in comic-book fashion, and there was no blood. Younger children could be influenced by all of this. Guess bigger ones can too. (Fortunately, much of this was too intense for my youngest, and he hid his eyes from it!
  

The short of it is, this is a great boys' flick (and girls might like it too!), but I'd be careful about showing it to young children. My seven-year-old was kind of at the edge of being OK with it, and I actually thought at one point, "Oh no. I spent $6 for him to hide his eyes all the way through!" This movie DOES offer lots to converse with your kids about as far as good and evil, and our choices. And even though the black Spidey suit represents the "bad Spidey," it's still pretty cool! (I CAN'T believe I just said that!)

For a more thorough review I'd recommend PluggedIn Online.

What I Didn't Take Pictures Of

This weekend was a busy one, but I didn't take any pictures. Surprising, I know, since with the cool digital camera, I usually take about a hundred pictures of the boys watching TV, or the dogs playing, or some other routine thing like that.

But Friday I didn't take a picture of Josh going to his first dance. I figured it would be an uncool mommy thing to do, and I don't want to put any more strain on the mom/teenager relationship, so I didn't make a big deal of it, and I didn't take pictures. Plus he pretty much told me he didn't want me to. So I didn't. But now? I'm really wishing I had a pic or two. Even if he would have been scowling at me. He had a blast at the dance. I didn't get much out of him about who he danced with, but he liked the line dances and being with his friends. It is so funny . . . and weird . . . watching him begin to really act like a teenage boy. Why oh why do they have to grow up?

Saturday was our week-long awaited event. The boys counted their money all week and counted down the days until the annual Mission's Auction at our church. The auction pays for much of the summer short-term missions trips for the year, so it is an important event for our church. Everybody really gets into it, donating goods and services for others to bid on, and shopping at the silent auction and then again at the live one. The thrill of my heart this year was when my two little ones began looking around for things to donate to the auction. They they took their own money and bid and bought things. I'm sure AJ will eventually regret buying four necklaces (for himself, nonetheless!), and three pairs of earrings (two for me, one for a little girl he's friends with), but I let him spend his own money. He also bid on and won a soft Christmas throw pillow. Stephen bought one of Mrs. Vera Mae's coconut cream pies, and got in a bidding war with one of the older ladies over a cherry cheese cake. He won the bid on the pie, and the lady finally admitted to him that she really just wanted the plate the cheesecake was on, so she would give him the cheesecake if he would let her have the plate, and she'd pay for it. It was too good a deal for Stevie to pass up, and I think she got a good deal too since he revealed to her that he had over $40 with him (and I think he'd have gone all the way to that!).

So what did I do? Well I had way too much fun! I helped out a little with the sweet treats, and I bought a couch with a fold-out bed (hopefully to replace a well-worn loveseat in my living room). Hooray! No more arguing over who will have to sleep on the floor when the boys sleep downstairs! I sat with my small group at the live auction and we had agreed together to bid on some things (a hot dog dinner with the pastor--really fun when we did it last year, and an ice cream social put on by one of our church leader's groups) My best friend and I bought a quilt and pillow for our very generous friend who is expecting her fourth baby and second boy. I think just being together was a lot of fun. We giggled and laughed and bid on things, and I'm not so sure they will let us sit together next year. (Except the chairman of the missions board is in our small group, so we're probably safe!) And I didn't take pictures of all that fun . . . because sometimes . . . well, it's just more fun to be cameraless.

Of course the last thing I thought of doing was taking pictures of me at two, and three, and four o'clock in the morning working on a project and on my Sunday school lesson. Yes, I did way-over-committ myself this week. I was tired, so no. No pictures of that.

So you see, it was a very fun, eventful weekend. But I didn't take any pictures. So I guess you'll have to "see" with your imagination. Please imagine me 60 pounds lighter. Thanks.

No More Schedules!

Every time I work up a schedule--even a loose one that's more like a "routine"--something goes wrong. Usually it's just a little something wrong, just wrong enough to be inconvenient and to prevent me from actually getting in the habit of keeping the schedule, like a stomach bug . . . or unexpected company . . . or three really good movies coming in the mail at the same time from Blockbuster. It's not usually something really horrible . . . until tonight. Today we started a new "routine." I can't even call it a schedule now, or my kids will groan. So we started a routine. We did pretty well at it . . . well, we were only about two and a half hours behind all day. But we had time to rest and read, and even made it to the shelter to see our new baby. We got most of our school done, and the house is in pretty decent order. So I felt good. Then tonight on the way to Scouts, it happened.

Pulling out of the driveway, the car was a little sluggish--not much acceleration. I've noticed it briefly the last couple times I drove, but it cleared up pretty quickly, so tonight I headed on to Scouts sure that I wasn't just going crazy, and making a mental note to push a visit to the mechanic up to the top of tomorrow's list. As I pulled out on the busy road intersecting our subdivision, I quickly realized that I should have made that note today. After 50 yards or so, I also realized we weren't going to make it to Scouts, and I pulled over to the side of the road.

I don't like car problems. Not that anyone does, but since I don't have a husband to call for help, it always makes me feel more overwhelmed to have to be the one to make the decisions about something I know so little about. I called several of the friends I usually call on to bail me out of trouble, but didnt' get anyone at home. Finally I called my best friend (by this time I was handling it all like a woman . . . yep. Crying.), who called a friend of her's close by to come help me. As I waited, an older gentleman stopped and "offered his assistance." (So glad there are still gentlemen in the world to offer assistance to dames in distress!) He began looking at the engine, and about the time he asked if I had gas in the car, another guy rode up on a bike.

I though about the question . . . um? Gas? I knew it needed to be filled soon, but I didn't think I was out. Then again, it had seemed that I'd been running on the same eighth of a tank for a while . . . . So these poor men went to get me some gas. I was left feeling very . . . blonde.

Finally there was definitely gas in the car, but still it would not start. (Relief! It wasn't about me forgetting the gas! Of course then it came to mind that the low-gas warning light never came on.) After discussing other possibilities, the guy from the bike finally decided it must be the fuel filter. So he pulled some big fat hose off something in the front of the engine (hey! Be glad I know he was working on the engine, and I'm not using words like do-hickey and thing-a-ma-jig.) Then he started pouring a little gas directly into the opening. As my brain was asking, "Isn't it a bad thing to pour gas onto a car engine?", my friend cranked the engine, and flames errupted.

It seemed like my engine was on fire forever, but I think the guy under the hood actually put it out pretty quickly, but I was seeing:
*my crazy kids trying to get a good look at the fire under my hood (as I waited for the car to explode!!!)
*the dropped bottle of gas on the curb on fire (and about to explode)
*me trying to explain to my insurance company how a $10 fuel filter caused a major explosion in my car
*my friend still sitting in my car (unaware of the engine on fire because of the hood being in his way!)
*the sane man moving back out of the way
*me standing there like a dork wondering why I didn't have a fire extinguisher in the back of the car
. . . . All of this was coming into my brain at once and I pretty much just didn't know what to do. At last the goofy guy with the water bottle of gas put out my car, and said, "Yep, it's the fuel filter." Ummm . . . do most mechanics set the car on fire to determine that?

Now I had come to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to just have the car towed, so I got on the phone with my wonderful insurance company to arrange for a tow truck. After being told three times that, yes, I still was on hold and there would be someone with me eventually (Hey, thanks. Good thing I'm not in real trouble!), I got someone on the phone.

Not long after that, one of our counties finest pulled up to "offer assistance." By this time the guy who tried to make my car explode had left (not that I blame him!), and I was kind of wondering where the deputy was when my car was on fire. (I'm thinking now that somebody called when they saw the flames leaping out of my car!!!) After the men with me explained the whole thing to him, he also agreed that it was probably the fuel filter, and suggested that we bang on the little gadget a few times to loosen some of the sediment. He said we wouldn't be able to drive far, but might get it to a nearby mechanic--and my mechanic was just around the corner, so it sounded great to me. So I asked the lady at the insurance company to hang on while I waited to see if I would indeed need the tow truck, and my friend banged on the filter, but when we tried to start the car, nothing.

As I got back to giving the insurance lady information so she could send help, the deputy suggested the men push the car up and off the road. My friend thought he'd give the key one more try, and wouldn't you know it? The car started. Once again I told the insurance lady we wouldn't be needing the tow truck, made hasty arrangements to get to the mechanic's shop, and loaded the kids in the car, and we took it where it needed to be dropped off.

So for now I know I need a new fuel filter, my car can still run (I think!), there are still gentlemen in the world, and you don't let somebody pour gas on your engine. I also know that I'm without a car, I desperately need groceries, and that schedules really don't work. So tomorrow we're going to fly by the seat of our pants again. At least that way we will expect not to know what the day will bring! And expecting surprised will probably be a good thing when I talk to the machanic.

What I Did for AJ's Birthday

So I have made it my policy not to let the boys have parties for every birthday. They only get parties for "special" birthdays--like the 6th, the 10th, the 13th, the 16th (years that are important only because I think they are important, and for no reason other than my subjective ones!). This year, AJ turned 7--not a "special" birthday--so no party. I was going to try to keep it simple. So this is what I did:

Instead of a party, he got to invite a friend to spend the night. He invited five friends (three are brothers, how could we leave one out? and two are his brothers good friends. We're kind of like that--we just share everything!) So I supplied pizza (very cheap pizza), cake, sodas and snacks, decorations, and treats. Does that sound like a party to you? Yeah. Does to me too. However this is really the first year AJ has really wanted to be with friends of his own, his own age. No. That doesn't really make me feel better about it.

The one thing he really wanted for his birthday was the doggie. So after much prayer and deliberation, I decided to get it. (I've been thinking about this for over a year.) So for his "present" I am paying the adoption fee at the shelter, buying all the "necessities" like a new crate, a trip to the vet, extra food, toys, etc. The cost of this present? I'm too embarrassed to tell you, but let's just say I could get a bunch of toys cheaper.

I told AJ that if he got the dog, that was his present. There would probably be nothing else. But the night before he went to Disney with his grandparents, I began feeling a little guilty that he'd have nothing to open and decided to send "a little bag of treats" with him on his trip. So I fille the BIGGEST gift bag I could find with snacks, a few little toys, stickers, a disposable camera, and tied it off with a personalized balloon. OK, yeah. It was a present. But don't tell anyone.

I also realized at Walmart that he needed new pajamas for his trip . . . a new swimsuit (the eight old hand-me-downs aren't good enough . . . and they don't have superheroes on them) . . . and of course, a birthday outfit. So I got those for him.

I won't tell you how much money I've actually spent on this birthday. Let's just say . . . I should have had a party and presents. It would have saved me money.

At least the kid's worth it.

And I'm consoling myself by reminding myself that God understands how much I love my son. "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Matt 7:11 (NIV)

Life Lesson #493

Four boys sleeping together on an inflatable mattress is a bad idea . . . especially when it's a sleepover . . . that started at 4am . . . and you forgot Daylight Savings time was ending so it's really 5am . . . and you have to be at church on time in four hours because you are the new quarter Sunday School teacher for the Women's Sunday School . . . and two of the boys had caffeine a half hour ago, and the other two have a few hours of sleep under their belt. Bet their not as funny in a couple of hours as they are right now.

On the other hand . . . they might actually be manageable in worship service tomorrow.

Don't ask. It's a long story.

And I'm tired.

A Blog You MUST See

Yes, this is it. Here you will see sweet, homemade handiworks (please buy something, so her husband will let her keep blogging!), glean timeless kernels of wisdom (from a mother of SIX who is my role model for being a wife and mother!!!), and just plain have fun. So come meet my bestest pal Eva, and visit this blog often as she shows off her many talents!