Well the kids have it. Every other sentence is about Christmas lists, or the decorations, or when are we going to start baking? Stephen actually asked me tonight when I was going to start wrapping presents! I asked him if I could get the bazillion boxes of decorations out of my living room and kitchen first!
I am glad they are so excited (just don't know how we will make it four more weeks!). I am struggling to be excited. I do love Christmas. I love the colors and the lights, the smells and the taste of hot cocoa on a cold night when you're sitting in front of the glowing tree. I love the anticipation in the boys' eyes when they dreamily ponder what each present might be. It's just the family part I miss. And the pressure of all there is to do is a little more than overwhelming right now. But I'm glad I have the kids. They keep me moving forward. I realized last night how much fun I was having decorating the tree, then felt a twinge of guilt when I realized that the only reason I had jumped on it was because the boys were begging me to do it.
You know, I wish I could be a kid again. I wish I could go back to the days when it was all so simple and fun. I remember as a teenager, forsaking TV so I could just lay in the living room and look at the tree. The boys plead for nights to spend the night sleeping downstairs near the tree. I used to be like that. Now I just prefer my bed. Because after a hard day of decorating, shopping, and baking? I'm beat!