Saturday, December 02, 2006

We have the bug . . . but not the hum bug!

Well the kids have it. Every other sentence is about Christmas lists, or the decorations, or when are we going to start baking? Stephen actually asked me tonight when I was going to start wrapping presents! I asked him if I could get the bazillion boxes of decorations out of my living room and kitchen first!

I am glad they are so excited (just don't know how we will make it four more weeks!). I am struggling to be excited. I do love Christmas. I love the colors and the lights, the smells and the taste of hot cocoa on a cold night when you're sitting in front of the glowing tree. I love the anticipation in the boys' eyes when they dreamily ponder what each present might be. It's just the family part I miss. And the pressure of all there is to do is a little more than overwhelming right now. But I'm glad I have the kids. They keep me moving forward. I realized last night how much fun I was having decorating the tree, then felt a twinge of guilt when I realized that the only reason I had jumped on it was because the boys were begging me to do it.

You know, I wish I could be a kid again. I wish I could go back to the days when it was all so simple and fun. I remember as a teenager, forsaking TV so I could just lay in the living room and look at the tree. The boys plead for nights to spend the night sleeping downstairs near the tree. I used to be like that. Now I just prefer my bed. Because after a hard day of decorating, shopping, and baking? I'm beat!

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