Poll Results Are In

If you suddenly found you had time to do whatever you wanted, how would you spend that time?

Well, my first poll results are in, and the books have it. Of course, only seven people voted, so it's not exactly official. The results?

57% would prefer to read a book
28% would prefer to hang out with a friend
14% would prefer to play on the computer

I'm trying to think of my next question, so stay tuned. It'll be up soon.

Things Moms Must Know About Boys

These are 'specially important to know if you didn't grow up with brothers.

• Boys do not wear panties. They wear underwear, boxers, briefs, skivvies, but not panties.
• Boys do not have slumber parties. They are called sleepovers, and they require LOTS of food, at least two video game systems, and DVDs with lots of combat and goofy humor.
• Boys do not play with dolls. They are called action figures.
• Boys do not play dress up. They wear the uniform for the current battle. Usually that battle is related to whatever battle DVD they are watching or just watched.
• Boy movies do not have to make sense or have a logical plot. They just have to have several weapons, body noises, and senseless humor. No kissing or happy endings, thank you. They're fine if everyone dies at the end.
• Do not call boys sweetie, honey, dear, or sugar. You can use buddy, big guy, or dude if you like.
• If you call a girl "boy" or "dude" she'll look at you like you have three heads. Then she'll shrug and walk off, thinking you're crazy. But if you call a boy "girl" or "princess" or something like that, he'll begin arming for war. Them's fightin' words!
• Boys automatically speak a second language. It includes belches, farts, armpit noises, and all kinds of other body noises.
• Boys need sound effects. They come prewired to make noises of explosions, shooting, and machine gun fire. Some girls will never figure out how to make these noises correctly.
• Boys insult each other the way dogs sniff each other's tails. It's just not as offensive to them as it is to us girls.

This isn't an exhaustive list, just tips to get you started.

Some Random Things

• There are SEVEN boys downstairs right now. They are playing video games, eating (of course!), and making LOTS of noise. All but one are sleeping over. I expect it will be a late night.
• I got a new grill in April. I finally made perfect hamburgers and hot dogs on it tonight (not burned). It's not me. The grill runs very hot. Really. Anyway, I'm feeling very proud of myself.
• There are no hamburgers left . . . and I made more than there were people. But I still have hot dogs!
• I have twelve books of my own that I'm trying to read, but for some reason, I have spent the last three days reading one of Josh's (one I'm pre-reading, so he can read it). I wish he'd get off my back.
• I'm trying to figure out why I clean house before the boys have friends over. This time, I didn't do much, and I'm feeling OK about it.
• On Sunday my older boys go to camp. I'm trying to figure out what to do with the youngest. If he stays with me, I'm trying to figure out who he can talk to.
• My back hurts. I went to the chiropractor today and he said my sacroilliac is out of place. He put it back in place, but it doesn't seem to want to stay where it belongs. I'm wondering if I can just buy a new one.
• My oldest son acts weird when he's around friends. Is that normal?
• I really like my sons' friends. They are a lot of fun. Is it normal for teen boys to like their friends' parents?
• We only have exactly thirteen days until we start school. I'm sooooo not ready.

Yes, Thank You, I Am A Fool

Fool used because I can't use the term I would really like to use for myself right now.

The boys and I have been really into dinosaur movies lately. More specifically, we have gotten caught up in the Jurassic Park movies. We have seen the third a couple times, and just watched it again as well as the first. Tonight we saw the second. I should have considered there was something wrong with it when I realized we were rooting for the dinosaurs!!! The older boys were fine with it--they love all that scary, eat-the-bad-guy stuff.

But as I sit here typing, Andrew is asleep in my bed (because I couldn't tear him off of me after the movie ended) whimpering to himself. What WAS I thinking? Duhhhh . . . hope the dino eats the bad guy . . . .

Please take away my mommy license.

OK. He's in my lap now. Kind of hard to type. Need to go to bed. Hoping he won't cling to me ALL NIGHT. Yes, I am one of those . . . well, you know.

Check Out My Sidebar!

Ok, now that Blogger makes blogging SOOOO easy, I'm really having more fun with it. All of the sudden, I'm not just writing posts, I can add lists about us, advertise, and sponsor polls. Please vote on my poll when you come. It means absolutely nothing, just for fun, but I'll post the results and let you know. I'll extend the ending of the first one for those of you who haven't noticed it before. So come on! Vote now!

Movie Review: Alex Rider, Operation Stormbreaker

Where did this movie come from? Why didn't I hear more about it when it came out in theaters? This was one of the best kids' action movies I've seen in a long time! Imagine James Bond before puberty (or just after, but before all the girlie stuff). James Bond minus all the hormones--that's what you have in Alex Rider. Alex Rider, Operation Stormbreaker is all the things boys love--action, danger, gadgets, bad guys, and skulking around trying not to be noticed. It's also got some things parents love . . . or rather, it's missing some things parents dislike--immodesty (or anything "romantic", for that matter), cursing (I didn't notice any, and neither did the boys), excessive violence, disrespect for adults (except the bad guy, of course!).

Alex Rider is thrust into spy work after his uncle dies and he discovers he has actually been groomed especially for the business. He is a reluctant hero, but a hero indeed. He carries cool gadgets to help him with his spying (but nothing lethal, interestingly enough). While there IS a girl, it is nothing overtly romantic, and she is called upon to help Alex in the final chase scene. Yes, there is some shooting, and yes, there are one or two deaths, but the deaths are cartoonish or implied (not shown), and the shooting never seems to actually hit its target. I never saw any blood.

This movie is based on the first in a series of books by Anthony Horowitz. While I did find at least one book listed at the library that sounded like it had supernatural undertones, I didn't see any of that in the movie. We've placed the first two books on hold so I'll let you know how they are once I read the first one.

This is definitely a movie worth seeing, especially if you have a boy. Just be prepared for them to pull out all the spy gadgets and dark clothing, and to hit and kick things (maybe each other?) a lot for a few days. (Are we the only ones who dress according to the latest movies we've seen?) It'd be perfect around my house if they'd talk with the Brittish accent Alex Rider has . . . . almost like living with a cleaned-up version of James Bond.

Update: I read the book and loved it. There is one minor cuss word in it, a British one (bli**y), and LOTS of action violence. But . . . one of the things I really liked is that Alex is not even expected to carry a gun. He's trained to handle all those kinds of circumstances, but the adults in charge don't feel right about him having a gun. Cool. The only thing that kind of bothered me is that Alex is a spy under duress (he's blackmailed), and he doesn't really want to be one. Horowitz stresses that while spies used to work from patriotism or loyalty, now they are mostly just used. While it bothers me, it is, I think, an accurate picture of our times. "Operation Stormrider" was very true to the Stormrider book.

Top Ten Reasons to Buy a Book Instead of Seeing a Movie

10) The movie is sold out . . . becuase all the stinkin' daycares have come for the free movie, leaving NO tickets for the rest of us!

9) For the price of a movie with your family, you can buy FOUR different books (unless the movie was free . . . and even then, if you get food . . . well, you know what I mean!).

8) You can read a book over and over, enjoying it again and again.

7) Nobody complains if you talk in the middle of the story.

6) You get to bring the book home with you!

5) You can pick from hundreds, or even thousands of books at any one time, buy only a couple dozen movies (and for some of us the choices are even fewer)!

4) Your other books will have new friends to play with!

3) Your kids will actually WANT to keep talking about their books!

2) You can drag the excitement out for days . . . or weeks . . . of for readers like me for years!

1) You get to see the excitement on your kids' faces over a new book, and suddenly feel like you might be doing something right!

Technological Hyperventilation

You don't realize how necessary . . . dependent . . . addicted you are to modern technology until it is ripped against your will from your clutching, clinging white knuckles. That happened to me today. I have two computers with Internet access. I got a new one last year for ME, and moved my other one downstairs for the boys to use for school and for me to use for school record keeping and such. Some time ago, I started having problems with it . . . long story . . . I let my anti-virus lapse for a very short time, and I thought something got on it. Now I think it was just spyware that slipped past my system. Anyway, when I upgraded to Internet Explorer 7 the whole Internet thing went kaplooie, and I lost Internet Explorer. Can't access it at all. Couldn't even get it back by doing a system restore and going back to IE6. But no worry, I still had my beloved America Online. Problems kept continuing to develop--nothing serious, just annoying little things that I'm too technologically impaired to figure out how to fix, and then after one of my ignoramous fix-it attempts, I deleted something important from the AOL file, and you guessed it! No AOL. Ugh.

So for months now, I've been meaning to backup files and take the stupid computer to my dear friends' computer genius father-in-law (are ya confused yet?), to get it cleaned up, fixed, whatever. But of course, it's the kids' computer, and I still have mine, so no rush. Right? Well very early in the wee hours of the morning I got on my precious, only to discover an error message about the system back-up battery. So this morning I spent ALL morning on the phone with Dell working on figuring out what is wrong. And guess what. It needs a new battery. Which I can't change. So I have to wait for a special technician to come out and change it. Which will take a few days. And we "drained the battery power" to discover this is the problem, so my precious won't even boot up and stay on. Do you see the problem here? I have NO INTERNET!!!

No, I'm not at the library blogging right now. No, I'm not at a friend's house either. I finally got some motivation to reinstall the AOL software on the downstairs computer so now it works!!! Hooray! But only after I had a major withdrawl panic attack, wondering how I would live without blogs for a few days, and whether I had put my Webkins to sleep and how the little virtual pet would fare without me to check on him each day, and what the hootie I would do without a computer to play with and talk to for as many as THREE days!!! Yes, I did near hyperventilate.

I'm embarrassed to say that I also said all of these goofball things to my bestest friend, who just laughed at me (not with me, 'cause I was having a breakdown, not laughing). Oddly enough this was the same best friend who I was discussing the excesses in material things that plagues America and how shameful we are in our greed and spending while so many people in the world are starving . . . .

Is there a computer patch . . . or gum or something ? 'Cause I think I need it.

Sometimes They're Just No Fun

Why why why do boys have to ALWAYS one-up each other? Why?

I ate my ice cream.
I ate my ice cream faster.
I ate my ice cream faster, got a brain freeze, and still ate it fast.
I ate my ice cream faster, got a brain freeze, but I ate it faster.

I was here first.
I was here before you even came downstairs.
I stood here all night, so I was here first.
I was born right on this very spot, and haven't moved since except to go to the bathroom, so I got here first!

Then there's the one-up that makes no sense to me whatever.

I have five guns.
I have twelve guns.
I have twenty guns, three bombs and a tank.
I have a nuclear weapon.

"MOM!!! Josh said he can use any eight powers he wants, but I only get to use two of mine, and they can't include super-strength or heat vision! Mom! Tell him to let me use my powers!"

Uuuugggghhhh! Quit it already! There are NO mountains in Florida, so ya can't be king of it!

OK, here's the twist in my house. I do sometimes like to play "one-up," but I'd really like it to be a little more fun. 'Cause here's how it goes at my house:

I'm hungry.
I'm hungry too.
I'm hungrier than you. I could eat a cow.

(Ok, at this point, I'm looking for an animal a little bigger, until we get to something like the Great Blue Whale and run out of big animals. What do I get?)

I'm hungry infinity times to heaven and back. (Game over.)

Guess there's no point even trying to cook for that appetite. Why can't we just have fun imagining what we could eat?????

Makes a Mother Proud . . . .

Tonight, AJ was inventing a new computer. Something about it was small enough to fit on your wrist . . . I don't know, I didn't get it all. (After all, I don't invent computers! I can hardly use them!) Meanwhile, his brother Stephen was programming another computer with a new language . . . or ability . . . or something like that (once again . . . me and the computer . . . enough said).

All at once, AJ decided he wanted to use FOUR of his powers (never was really sure exactly what they were, but I caught something about stretchy, strong, and fire), but the problem with this was that in whatever contract they signed, Josh got to use double the powers of AJ . . . or more of them . . . so that meant Josh got to go to EIGHT of his. Somehow Stephen got short-changed in the deal, 'cause no matter what, he only got to use one power at a time. But . . . he had his computer!

Exactly how many powers do you need to fight off bad guys?

And if you have super powers, why on earth do you need computers?

Hard Lesson

The Lord and I have been going round and round about me slipping into a serious night-owl habit. I have just had a hard time sleeping, and it's become extreme. It is complicated by the fact that I don't have to be up early, so the boys and I are staying up very late, and getting up quite late in the morning. (Yes, alas. I'm passing on this wonderful character quality to my children.) I'm always prone to this, but with summer, it has been even harder to discipline myself to go to bed. The last few days my time in the Word has really convicted me of the need to work on this, so I've been asking God for help, knowing I just can't overcome this on my own. We all know we should be careful what we ask for, right?

This morning the Lord did indeed wake me up earlier . . . to the sound of the dog yacking amidst dueling alarm clocks. Oh goody! Won't describe it here for those of you who are weak-stomached (I used to be one of you. Then I had children.), but let's just say there was't much since she hadn't eaten all night. So I raced through the house, down the stairs and through the kitchen to let her out before she did it again (her favorite place to lose it is in the tracks of the sliding glass door--a fun clean-up, let me tell you). I made it in the nick of time.

So my eyes are sooo droopy right now, and I feel like going back to bed, but I'm not . . . cause I don't want another lesson.

The Million Dollar . . . DOG!!!

Yes, that is what I've adopted. Not only is he crazy. . . not only does he destroy everything he finds near the floor . . . but now? He has allergies! I had noticed him chewing on his feet a lot and saw that the hair was thinning and that they were a little red. Since I've found a more or less inexpensive vet, I figured I should get it checked out. So we took Nate yesterday and he has a yeast infection combined with a bacterial skin infection and yeast in his ears resulting from allergies!!! Fortunately Walmart now offers $4 perscriptions, even if the meds are for a dog! My poor pup has to be bathed twice a week, have drops in his ears two to three times a day, have his feet wiped with special medicated pads two to three times a day, and has a med given in the morning and two at night. Or maybe I should say poor mom has to wash the dog twice a week, wipe down doggie paws several times a day, put drops in the ears, and trick him into taking pills in the morning and night all for allergies. Sorry buddy, but I'm not spendin' much more on ya. You'll just have to scratch!

Maybe I should consider contributing to Social Security in his name. Then in a few years, we could afford his medical care. And if the government argues with me? I'll tell them that Walmart took a prescription for him!

So Many Libraries, So Little Time

Yes, we have joined yet another library. You know you have a bit of a problem with books when you have three different cards from three different library systems in your wallet, and there's books on all of them. (Ok, I'm not quite that bad; I only have books on two of them.) Actually the rationale goes like this: I have a card at the library system in the nearby college town. In this library there are no limits, no late fees, you get the books for a month and can renew them twice, and the library we go to is HUGE!!! The new card is from the next county, which is a large county with lots of branches and has a very efficient system for transferring books and placing holds. Plus the library we went to had a tremendous amout of books on tape and video recordings to pick from, AND they have downloads available online for check-out. Also the nearest libraray isn't over an hour away, a definite perk. Since we started our monthly trek to college town to visit the library there, the boys have become ravenous readers, and can barely keep up with what we check out.

So there you have it. We could literally borrow hundreds of books at a time. It's almost as good as getting new books to own!

Yes. We Adopted a Crazy Dog.

Nathan has taken lately to barking at himself. Why you ask? Late at night, he sees his reflection in the glass door and goes crazy. A couple nights ago, he barked at himself for over an hour.
Straight.
Until I put him in the crate.
I didn't want to but it had gotten late.
I told him, "Please stop. Don't bark, Nate!"
For a half hour I tried to wait!

OK, enough!!! No more Dr. Suess! Sorry.

Anyway, he's also still chewing up EVERYTHING!!! He ruined a brand new pair of sandals the other day. I've found countless pencils, marbles, legoes, plastic animals, other shoes and socks, and everything else in his mouth. And he just thinks he owns everything, including me I think. He has claimed my bed, my pillow, my lap, my couch, anything he can lay on or defend, he does it. Nevertheless, he does still love Princess, and he's so stinkin' cute, so we put up with a lot and love him anyway.

I have yet to find anything that makes me regret the decision to adopt him. He is just a bundle of boundless energy and curiosity . . . kinda like his owner.

Sorry. We're Currently Unavailable . . .

. . . we're out of this world. Instead we are visiting the Webkins world. My deepest appreciation for the very thoughtful woman at church who thought she was giving us something nice when she gave each of my boys a Webkins animal. While it was a very thoughtful gift (because I could see how hard it was for her to part with the Webkins she let me choose from for the boys), she inadvertantly spread her addiction. We now spend an inordinate amount of hours on the computer each day feeding, dressing, bathing, and earning money to buy stuff for our virtual pets!!! OK, yeah. The real ones (dogs) haven't been played with for days (weeks?). And chores here? To care for the REAL people who live in THIS house? Ummm . . . no.

Never fear. Mom didn't get a Webkins, so she's safe. Right? Wrong. I Webkins-sit. For my children. Whether they want me to or not.

"Hey! Get off the computer so I can earn fake money to buy fake stuff and fake food for a fake pet that isn't even mine!!!"

Why can't I come up with some kind of goofball idea that people will pursue with a frenzy so I can make millions? Of course, in order to do that, I have to log off the Webkins world. Isn't happening anytime soon.