Sometimes They're Just No Fun

Why why why do boys have to ALWAYS one-up each other? Why?

I ate my ice cream.
I ate my ice cream faster.
I ate my ice cream faster, got a brain freeze, and still ate it fast.
I ate my ice cream faster, got a brain freeze, but I ate it faster.

I was here first.
I was here before you even came downstairs.
I stood here all night, so I was here first.
I was born right on this very spot, and haven't moved since except to go to the bathroom, so I got here first!

Then there's the one-up that makes no sense to me whatever.

I have five guns.
I have twelve guns.
I have twenty guns, three bombs and a tank.
I have a nuclear weapon.

"MOM!!! Josh said he can use any eight powers he wants, but I only get to use two of mine, and they can't include super-strength or heat vision! Mom! Tell him to let me use my powers!"

Uuuugggghhhh! Quit it already! There are NO mountains in Florida, so ya can't be king of it!

OK, here's the twist in my house. I do sometimes like to play "one-up," but I'd really like it to be a little more fun. 'Cause here's how it goes at my house:

I'm hungry.
I'm hungry too.
I'm hungrier than you. I could eat a cow.

(Ok, at this point, I'm looking for an animal a little bigger, until we get to something like the Great Blue Whale and run out of big animals. What do I get?)

I'm hungry infinity times to heaven and back. (Game over.)

Guess there's no point even trying to cook for that appetite. Why can't we just have fun imagining what we could eat?????