The Sincerest Form of Flattery—and Worship!

When I moved into the stage of parenting toddlers, I was quickly convicted of some weak areas in my life.  Words I said, habits I had, even what I liked to eat . . . all were imitated by my children.  It was one thing to hear a slightly off-color word out of the mouth of an adult, or maybe even a teen, but to hear it from a two-year-old made my skin crawl. Something inside me innately knew it was wrong, but my age and exposure to the world had dulled my sense of it being wrong even for me. I think I expected that as my children grew, they would become more independent thinkers, less likely to imitate what they see and hear, but that is actually not true at all.

Right now, my teenagers are downstairs playing "Ninja" on each other. They are quoting funny "Mythbuster" lines because that is what we just watched.  I have laughed at them as they watch shows studying it for cool or funny lines and repeating them ad nauseum for days afterward. It was funny when one of my kids informed me that his goal in life was to be able to converse completely in movie quotes (and I think he's there!).  Recently we listened to some Bill Cosby comedy, and in just a hearing or two, they completely memorized the routines. I've come to realize that everyone--young children, teens, and even adults--imitate what surrounds them.  How often do we find ourselves using coloquial expressions: "Right on!"  "Like . . . totally!"  "Dude!" and lately "Seriously?" or "Totally awesome!" (said with a high pitched squeal on the "awesome")

We are creatures made to imitate what we admire.

We return again and again to what we admire, cutting grooves into our minds that match the messages we see and hear.  Not only are we creating thought and belief patterns in our own minds, but also in the minds of those we have in tow with us—especially our kids—who are watching and learning too.  As I enter further into the task of parenting teenagers, I'm very concerned about ways that I've failed to understand and apply that principle earlier in the lives of my children.  For whatever reasons (or excuses), I have allowed influences into their lives unintentionally, without thinking through what they would admire, love, and imitate. I've had to sacrifice some of my goals and plans for them, because I myself derailed those goals by not being intentional about using exposure and influence to shape their passions and their character.  I wish that I could go back in time and do things differently, but I'm comforted by the truth that in God's plan there is no plan B, and everything that I've done, intentionally or unintentionally, is a part of His plan A.

I’m currently working through Louie Giglio’s study Wired: for a Life of Worship with my Jr. High girls, and I’m so convicted of the way that imitation is actually a sign of worship. As I study, I’m hoping to write more on what I learn about worship and about the things that influence us.

And Then There's Josh . . .

OK, I've just gotta brag on my teenager today.

We are at the beginning of a crazy week. We are taking care of four young children all day for some friends. Today and tomorrow we also had our regular little girl (but only one of the four--the cranky teething baby!). I thought this week was Spring Break, so no cleaning, but I was wrong, so we still have our cleaning and most of our "usual" activities this week. Today was Scout day with back-to-back scout meetings. I honestly didn't know how I would even start cleaning before 8 pm.

But JOSH decided to stay at the church for his play rehearsal (even though he didn't have to be there today), and then to go ahead and start cleaning for us afterward until I could get up there to help. By the time we did get there, he had finished more than half the work. I had maybe an hour's worth to do, and the other boys had nothing. Who is this masked hero? Is this the guy whose secret identity is a couch potato? Hmmmm . . . must be something in the water. I gotta get me some of that water.

So Much More Than School

I've been beating myself up over school a lot lately. This year our academic efforts aren't going that well. I feel like we're not getting done all I had expected . . . all I had wanted. Then occasionally, I realize how much more my kids are learning by being home with me.

Did I mention we are working now? We are cleaning classrooms at the academy our church runs. It's a tough five-day a week job, but it only takes a couple hours a day if we all pitch in. It was such a blessing to get the job, and it came at a time when I really needed the money. I was really fighting worry over how to pay the bills (still am, but not as much). The great thing is that I pay the boys to help me. I have a pay schedule where they get a certain amount for different jobs. It gives them the opportunity to work different jobs on different days, and to decide whether they really want to work hard to earn a little more or just to get by with minimal work. It also has put them on someone else's schedule, and we have to do this every day whether we feel like it or not. They also don't get paid if I go back and check their work and it's not done correctly, so they are doing a very thorough job. I realized that they won't be teenagers or young men who go to work and don't have a clue how to mop a floor or clean a bathroom, and resent being told what to do by a boss.

We are also still keeping kids a bit. One of my greatest delights is to see my teenager sitting in a corner at a Scout function or at church carrying on a real conversation with a preschooler, or a little kid. He never looks bored with the conversation. He also carries on conversations with grown-ups--more than the obligatory grunts and nods--of course, it's better if that grown up knows a little about Marvel superheroes (Right, Bill?). They are also learning to care for little ones. Often they make our little girl lunch, or help entertain her. Will they be better daddies because of doing this? I hope so.

The one thing I'm not doing so well at is focusing their hearts and minds on God's involvement in our day, and yet I wonder if I'm doing more than I realize. They have prayed with me for income, for the ability to continue homeschooling, for others we love, and they have seen answers.

Anyway, I'm just reminded again that they are learning, even from my failures. They aren't just schooling for the idol of career or success, they are schooling for real life. And I'm reminded that whatever I do wrong, God is soveriegn, and will teach them everything else they need to know. That is where my real hope is.

Puppy Update

Today I took AJ to the pet store to pick out stuff for his puppy. Sheesh! It would have been cheaper to adopt a KID! It was fun watching him trying to pick out a collar, a lead, toys, and so on. He is so independent in his thinking, so sure when he finds what he likes of what he wants. I could see the excitement mounting for him, and it is about to kill him that he has to wait another full day and a half. I kicked myself tonight because I realize I should have taken my camera to the pet store to take photos, but I decided to go on such a whim, that I didn't have it. I WILL take it to the shelter on Friday! The other two boys have a field trip, so AJ and I might go while they are away. I thought it might make bringing the new puppy home a little easier.

Even though Princess might have a hard time adjusting to sharing her family, this whole endeavor has been a good thing for her. It has stimulated my interest in learning about dogs, and has really increased my interest in her. Even though she was purchased for the boys, she is very much MY dog--I'm her "Alpha" as they say. So now I am studying and researching about training dogs, and I'm going to try to train her to not pull on the leash, to not bark when I tell her to stop, and to heel. She is SOOO excitable when we go out the front door, I almost can't control her. It is hard just to get her attention to get commands through her head. We watched a VERY good video on dog training today, and I tried some techniques, but I can't get her to stay alongside me long enough to use the choke chain correctly and effectively. I got a pincher collar today, and was hoping I could master the choke chain so I wouldn't really have to use it, but I think I might for a while until I can control her a little better.

Anyway that's what is going on here. Our lives are pretty much going to the dogs. Thank goodness it's not cats!!!